Edit: Currently re-evaluating this film. Check back for full post.
Movie: John Carter (2012)

Have you ever heard of John Carter? Apparently, it was a big thing back in the day, and director Andrew Stanton wants to educate us on why that is. Does he succeed? No, not really, but he gives it his best. It’s all pretty standard sci-fi/fantasy epic-ness, and I think the biggest problem is in the costumes. I honestly believe if the Princess of Mars had worn a more tasteful dress, I would have enjoyed it a good deal more.